Taking those first steps out of your storm

S stands for Storm

So, the S in my new SING model stands for…Storm…

When we’ve experienced a life storm – or two or three – it can be so hard to find our bearings again. It’s just like having been exposed to a literal storm and coming out the other side reeling, dishevelled, freezing, soaking, and utterly exhausted.

We may find it hard to imagine how things could possibly be OK again. We may have a knowing that there’s no going back to how life was before the storm. Or we may fear that another storm is going to come along and derail us again. We likely feel a deep sense of dis-ease in our soul. We may try to dampen those icky feelings with various distractions, but they stick around, nagging at us. Our mind and body struggle under the strain of all these burdens.

In my free mini-course, SING After The Storm, I talk about regaining our inner calm and confidence after the storm. Cultivating a sense of safety after we have felt profoundly unsafe. Tapping into our True Self with a sense of hope.

I stands for Ignition – but how to get there?

When we can connect with our inner calm and confidence, it enables us to proceed to the I in SING – Ignition…that point where we irrevocably decide that the storm isn’t going to define us and our life.

Sounds all very nice, you might be thinking, but that’s A LOT easier said than done. Calm and confidence are literally the last things on my mind right now. They feel completely out of reach. Unattainable pipe dreams. Why bring them up just to remind me of what I’ve lost?  

I totally get it. This isn’t generally an overnight process. For me, with multiple overlapping storms to contend with, it was a process that spanned years. But things didn’t stand still during those years. Perhaps I couldn’t see this so clearly at the time, but hindsight is certainly enlightening.

I was growing, slowly but surely. There were small shoots of fresh green growth despite the ongoing crushing challenge of it all. I look back and think how incredible that really is, and how resilient we human beings actually are!

It all starts with the first few steps

I know it’s a cliché, but it’s a saying for a reason!  When an object is sitting still, it needs to gain energy to start moving. Now, if you imagine that object sitting at the top of a slide, it’ll only need a gentle push and then it’ll be merrily going on its way.

But when we’re still and paralysed after a scary life storm, we can feel much more like we’re stuck in a deep rut. We are going to need a much bigger infusion of energy to escape that rut.

So, where is that energy meant to come from? After all, we’re pretty tired and disillusioned after a storm, certainly not full of beans and excess energy.

It’s not easy, that’s for sure. Which is why we can stay where we are for quite a while.

Friends, family and professionals can certainly help and encourage us – which is a great source of energy! But ultimately we do need to provide some of that energy ourselves. Even if we don’t feel like it. Even if we can’t see how it’ll make a difference.

For me, finding this energy was all about tapping into that calm, intuitive voice within – so quiet sometimes, and at serious risk of being drowned out by the din going on inside me. And yet…and yet….quietly persistent nonetheless.  As I said in my book, Reclaiming Christmas:

“Somewhere deep inside me, I know what beautiful looks like, and my soul longs achingly to get back to that place of beauty. It is emblematic of my strong, gut-led pull to heal from the wounds of my childhood. Although I have often felt totally consumed by the hurt, surrounded by darkness, held firmly in the quagmire, it has always been against my deeper will. Even when I just couldn’t see a way out, I couldn’t stop trying – even when my efforts felt extraordinarily feeble, I was still trying to take baby steps.”

My encouragement here is simple: let’s find the strength to take those first steps, to set our intention. We can figure out what those steps should be by seeking advice from those we trust, and listening to that calm, inner intuitive voice. It may feel slow and clunky to begin with, and the steps may feel so small compared to the enormity of the task. But, if we can just keep putting one metaphorical foot in front of the other, those steps will seriously start to add up and I believe we’ll be pleasantly surprised by the momentum we can create!

What could those first steps look like for you? Here are a couple I am so glad to offer to you:

• Sign up to my free mini-course, SING after the Storm, to find out more about the different stages of the SING framework

• Come and join my free Facebook group – yes, it’s also called SING after the Storm! We’re going to be thinking about first and next steps we can take on our journeys – so do come and join us, you’d be so welcome.