It won't always be like this...finding hope in the midst of the storm

Sometimes when we’re in the midst of the storm, we can worry that nothing will ever be right again. We will always be hurting. Happiness and peace are a pipe dream.

We remember what the good life felt like before the storm. Of course it wasn’t perfect, but fundamentally it was good – and we worry that we simply can’t get back there.

Now, honestly, it turns out that you probably can’t get back there.

What now?!

Don’t panic, because that’s actually no bad thing… We are always evolving and moving forward in this life. It’s not really possible to go through a big upheaval such as a life storm and not be impacted by it.

What you can do is journey forward through the storm to reach the other side. But you won’t be circling back to where you were before the storm. You’ll be reaching the doorway to the next chapter of your life.

The storm will have changed you: your perspectives, your understandings, your relationships with other people and the world, and so much more besides. And there is a gift in that, weird though it may seem to say that. Experiencing the storm will mean that you can appreciate things you couldn’t appreciate before, see things you couldn’t see before, and engage with people and the world in new and exciting ways!

So, it turns out that there can be unexpected blessings waiting to be found in the wake of the storm. You can find the place you are meant to be at this particular stage of your journey through life, and you can live richly and meaningfully in that place.

In my case, my storm lasted for a very long time – in fact, I was really living in a storm my whole life. So, I didn’t have a good “before” state to pine for. But I did long so deeply to feel content, happy and whole. And for many years I really doubted that this was possible for me.

One time, I was particularly discouraged and really challenged my counsellor about this. How could I keep going on like this forever? Wouldn’t I just give up out of sheer exhaustion and hopelessness one day?

And I will always remember her calm reply: “It won’t always be like this.”

But how can you possibly know that? I railed at her again. What if things just don’t get better, and I just can’t take it any more?

And she sat steadily in front of me and reassured me that she was confident that things would shift for me if I just kept trusting the process.

I have to be honest, I didn’t 100% believe her. But I trusted her more than just about anyone on the planet, so her words and her quietly confident optimism gave me a sliver of hope. Enough hope that I did keep going and trusting the process.

So, what does it take to trust the process and journey to the other side of your storm?

Well, it’s as simple and as complex as taking the step that’s in front of you, and then the next step, and then the next. Journeying through storms is not a linear, logical process that can be scientifically mapped out – much to my frustration for many years!

The question to ask yourself is, what’s the next proactive step I can take to help me journey through this storm?

My experience is that the steps have been revealed to me as I kept showing up. I may have figured out the next step from someone’s social media post, or from something someone said, or from a book I read, or from a flash of inspiration as I journalled about what was going on and how I was feeling.

One thing I know for sure – navigating a storm by oneself would be a very lonely experience. A few trusted others gave me hope, and helped me to identify and take the next step on my journey, over and over again.

If someone had told me fifteen, ten, or even five years ago where I would be right now, what I would be doing and how I would be feeling…I’d have laughed at them, or cried, or most probably some weird combination of the two. It would have seemed too incredible to be possible. And yet here I am! And it’s all the product of trusting the process, holding onto my little sliver of hope, and taking one small step after another.

I hope you can take heart from this blog. You don’t have to have all the answers right now, or your entire path mapped out in front of you. What you can do is ask yourself, what’s the next step I can take today? And who can support me and cheer me on?

If you want to explore whether I can be of service on your journey, I’d be honoured to have a no-strings-attached conversation with you – do book a time here.