What our favourite movies can teach us

When I got an invitation to speak on the podcast My Movie Story, to talk about my three favourite movies – or films, in UK-speak! – my initial thought was that this would be a light-hearted conversation!

Now, don’t get me wrong, it was lots of fun and I really enjoyed speaking with Brian McAleer. But what surprised me was the level of meaning I got from participating. I love learning and making new discoveries about myself, so this was definitely a pleasant surprise – but it also required more preparation and contemplation in advance than I’d anticipated!

I regularly use TV as a way to relax in the evening. My go-to evening TV recipe is generally some mix of heart-warming, fun, exciting and captivating. The recipe can also include some “mild peril”, as per the warnings one tends to find relating to children’s TV, but it mustn’t include anything too scary. I don’t want violence, gritty reality, horror movies, or unhappy endings.  They definitely don’t help me to relax and fall asleep…

I’m not alone in watching TV to relax. We can often look down our noses at TV watching compared to activities we consider more enriching, like reading. However, in the Rest Test, the world’s biggest survey about people’s experiences of rest, watching TV sneaked into the Top 10!

Given that I often watch TV in the evening, I have tended to view it as a fairly mindless activity. However, appearing on this podcast showed me that there’s a lot more meaning behind my film preferences than I’d previously realised. Perhaps my brain is, in fact, mulling over themes that are important to me as I’m watching TV, even if I appear to be half-asleep on the sofa…

So, what was the task for the podcast? Well, Brian asked me to choose my favourite film overall, the film that changed my perspective on life, and the film I think everyone should see. 

The film that gave me hope

I instantly knew which film I would choose that changed my perspective on life – A Beautiful Mind, which tells the story of mathematician John Nash and his journey with severe mental illness.  Not a barrel of laughs, you might be thinking – and you’d be right, but it’s also incredibly inspirational and uplifting, really helping one to get an insight into what it can be like to live with a difficult mental condition, and to see that hope can live on even in the face of seemingly insurmountable challenges. I cry every time I watch this film. It was the film which helped me to begin to believe that I could get a handle on the multiple mental health challenges I was facing in my early adulthood – including a phobia, two types of obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Seeing myself in film characters

As to my favourite film, that was a no-brainer as well – it had to be Shrek!  Not only had I watched it multiple times, but I also went to see it at the theatre in London, and my husband and I regularly listen to the soundtrack when we’re on holiday. We have running jokes based on scenes from the film. It’s basically seriously embedded in my psyche!  When I re-watched it in preparation for the podcast, I couldn’t believe it was only about 80 minutes long, given the profound influence it’s had on my life.

But here’s the fascinating thing. I thought it was just a really fun film that uplifted me and made me laugh. However, it turns out that there are some deeper meanings buried in my attraction to this film. In particular, I really resonate with the lead character, Shrek – yes, you’ve read that right, I identify with the ogre…! And why is that?  Well, he resists connection and wants to live by himself – but Donkey (probably the most awesome animated film character I’ve ever witnessed, voiced over by Eddie Murphy) refuses to leave his side. Intensely irritating – oh yeah!  Persistent in the face of endless insults and discouragement – oh yeah! One hundred percent loyal and supportive – oh yeah, that too!

I really resonate with Shrek’s perspective, if I’m honest – having been hurt by people so many times in my life, I’m very cautious about connection. And yet, I – like Shrek does in the film – have come to a realisation that human connection is vital to flourishing. How to square this confusing circle? I think perhaps the secret is in figuring out what safe and thriving connection looks like for us. And learning how to be discerning about the connections we make, and when and how we decide to open up more vulnerably…

I also see myself in Donkey’s attitude to fear, as the adventure unfolds. And actually, truth be told, I do also identify with Princess Fiona – trapped in a tower guarded by a dragon for a long time, and eventually coming to the realisation that her True Self may be somewhat different to what she had always assumed… She truly becomes a Damsel Not In Distress! But enough said on that front, in case you haven’t seen the film…

Learning about how I live my life

Finally, the film I thought everyone should see is Click, with Adam Sandler.  It’s safe to say that it’s not your typical Adam Sandler film. I knew the first time I watched it that it resonated with me because of its theme around our control – or otherwise – over our life circumstances. But when I pondered it further, I unearthed a bunch of other insights – how my priorities have changed over time, the power of learning to live in the moment, and the need to put in the work to achieve the outcomes we desire, to name just a few.

I’d really encourage you to check out the podcast – you can find it here on You Tube and here on Spotify. Do drop me a message and let me know what you think!

Journalling prompts for you!

Here are some journalling prompts to help you explore the meaning behind your favourite films:  

1.      You’re with a group of friends and someone asks you what your favourite film/movie is. What’s your immediate response?

2.      Journal freely for a page or two on the film:

• How do the key themes, events and characters in the film speak to you?

• How does reflecting on the film make you feel? Do you feel sensations in your body? What might those feelings and sensations be about for you?

• Do you identify with particular characters – or parts of them? Why is that?

• Which bits of the film stick out in your mind’s eye and why?

3.      I’d then suggest you re-watch the film, with chosen snack in hand if you like! What additional insights come to mind?

4.      Then repeat stages 1-3 for a) the film that has most influenced your perspective on life; and b) the film you think everyone should watch. Fundamentally, what is driving your choices?

I'd love to hear what comes up for you - do drop me a line to let me know! I'm on Facebook and Instagram, and here's my contact page!